Big Bri, Black Bear Series

” I’ve been working bars from as far back as I could remember.. about 16 years old is when I started. Barbacked then moved into bouncing work.. so I’ve seen a whole lot. Working the door at Bear one night I get a call over the radio saying, “Brian, come to the kitchen and put your gloves on!”.


I was wondering what the hell is going on. I go into the kitchen and I see a girl sitting in the chair and John, a former bouncer at Black Bear, standing over with this terrified look on his face. So, I go up to the girl and surprisingly she was calm while asking for help. All of the sudden she goes and opens her legs up for me. She goes I have a problem down there. I look at John and he said “yeah it’s bad”. I get closer, took a look, and said “you have a third hole. Why don’t you tell me what happened”. She says, “I was dancing on the bar with my friend who slipped and fell. She pulled me down, and I landed on a bottle.” I followed up with my EMS training and protocol. It turns out she landed on a pour spout and it impaled the back side of her leg close to her..  “area”. She told me she wanted me to make sure there was no glass in the cut. I get down on my knee and open her legs up but told her “We’re gonna have to cover up your other holes first.” I put my thumb around the wound feeling for glass. She’s joking around saying, “I didn’t think that would be the position you would get me in”. She’s not complaining, not in pain. Now, I have to see if there’s glass in the wound… so, she says “finger away.” With the gloves on, I slowly pressed around inside the wound asking if she feels any pinching or poking in the wound… she says no a few times, just the pressure of your finger. She also said “I wanted to get fingered tonight, but not this way.” We were cracking jokes and she was cool as shit. She explains she’s in the industry and that accidents happen.


This is where it starts to get real interesting and funny. After I take the finger out she goes “was it good for you”. I go “the fuck… yeah it was awesome” sarcastically…. all while my finger is inside of her. She tells me she wants me to take a picture of it with my phone so she can get a better look at it. Still in shock, I took the picture.  So, here I am on my knee with her leg over my shoulder, she’s sitting in a dining chair, I had my phone with my other hand, and I was taking a picture of her “third hole”.


I take a photo of the injury.. show her and she goes “OH fuck, that’s crazy looking. You have to send it to me!”.  I respond with, “The only way I can send it to you is if you give me your number.”. She smiles, gives me her number and I say, “You know there are easier ways to give me your phone number than falling off of a bar and impaling yourself, right?”. With a mischievous smile she replies, “Well put It this way.. you’re in between my legs and made an impression already.”.”

What falling on a bottle pourer looks like..
… and the aftermath.

Black Bear Series 9/7
Our last post in the series.. seriously this time!